On Becoming

This week seems to have had a recurring theme:

How do I inspire change?

I think it’s probably part of the shared human experience to see incredible potential in a person, project, or team, and then have some kind of disappointment happen.

It’s terribly difficult when you see it not just happen once, but start seeing it happen frequently. More so when it’s to the people closest to you.

What do you do?

What can you do?

After giving it some thought, here are my current working thoughts:

1. Diagnose and Remove Obstacles

If there is a pattern occuring, more likely than not, there is a cause.

Take the time to work with individual, project, or team to attempt to dig up the root cause. Is it:

1. lack of clarity / direction / understanding?
2. lack of perceived importance?
3. lack of alignment?

A lack of clarity / direction / understanding makes it difficult to achieve expectations. Seek to understand what they believe the expectations to be, and work to build off that base to bring them to your expectations. Ensure that the expectations are stated clearly with as little room for misunderstanding as possible.

A lack of perceived importance is more frustrating to deal with, but can still be course corrected. Seek to understand what they believe to be important, and work to expand their vision to what you see is important.

A lack of alignment is probably the most difficult thing to deal with. Seek to understand if there is a common thread between their vision and direction and yours. Focus on that point to realign both perspectives. It’s worth mentioning that you will need to identify what you are willing to compromise on, and what you need to stay firm on.

2. Specific Assignment

Diagnosing and removing obstacles does not lead to change, it merely makes change possible.

In situations like this, trust needs to be rebuilt on both sides. Trust is best built by succeeding together.

Make a clear, specific assignment which will create a win. Make it clear what the expectations are: what’s the timeframe, what are the desired outcomes, what does a win look like, how does this relate to the larger vision.

Then empower them to go and execute well.

3. Report

Plans without accountability are merely dreams.

As part of the invitation, make it clear that you will review the assignment together.

In that review, look beyond whether the assignment was executed well or not. Analyze instead whether they have come closer to what you expect.

Take the time to problem solve together and diagnose what went well, what didn’t go well.

Find ways to remove obstacles.

Then give another clear, specific assignment that will bring a win.

Why?

At the end of the day, lasting change does not come from one conversation. It doesn’t happen with one challenge. It doesn’t stick with one pass.

Lasting change happens a little bit at a time. It comes when we become rather than just do. Becoming requires more effort, more time, and is far more valuable than surface level fixes.

This cycle of diagnosing problems, removing obstacles, giving assignments, and reporting creates a virtuous cycle of becoming. It reinforces expectations, builds trust, and leads to larger wins.

Is this guaranteed to work?

Nope.

At the end of the day, this is an invitation to change. And invitations can be rejected.

Then, it’s just a question of how willing you are to extend the invitation again. And again. And once more.

What’s the cost of continuing that relationship if they are unwilling to change?

What’s the value of that relationship if they are unwilling to change?

Tough questions that hopefully don’t need to be asked.