Kindness and Niceness

You are here to be their friend. Not their pal.

President Ivory, my church mission president, continued.

Pals are happy just hanging out. Pals get along great and always avoid the tough conversations. Pals don’t create change.

Friends will tell you when you are on the wrong path. Friends do have the tough conversation. Why? Because friends actually care.

That distinction is huge, and I think we’ve all had both.

We’ve had pals who we enjoyed spending time with, but deep down, we knew that they were there just to pass time. They were nice; they made us feel good. But, deep down, we knew we couldn’t really trust their opinions.

We’ve also had friends. We knew we could count on them. We knew they cared. We also knew they wouldn’t hold back from the truth. In the moment, they seemed to be the complete opposite of nice. But, they were always kind.

Niceness is the act of pleasing another person, and typically, it’s for your own benefit.

Kindness is the act of helping another person, and typically, it’s for their own benefit.

In today’s increasingly virtual world, we are pushed to niceness. To surface level connections. To short term, disposable acts with immediate gratification. None of these create lasting change.

Be kind.